The Demartini Method - FAQ
What is The Demartini Method?
The Demartini Method is a series of specific questions designed to direct the focus of your mind towards the information that is missing from your awareness. Anytime you are overlooking information in your reality your mind is designed to generate emotional charges to guide you to realize what you are missing. All emotional reactions are caused by unconscious information or ignorance of what is. For example: - 😒 If you are feeling down, resentful or depressed you are conscious of the negatives/downsides of some person/place/thing/event and unconscious of the upsides/positives. - Any person/place/thing/event that you resent you will unconsciously avoid and it will take up time & space in your mind & run you until you balance your perception. - 😍 If you are feeling elated, ecstatic or infatuated with some person/place/thing/event you are conscious of the upsides/positives of it and ignorant of the negatives/downsides. - Any person/place/thing/event that you are feeling elated, ecstatic or infatuated with you will unconsciously seek and it will take up time & space in your mind & run you until you balance your perception. - 🙏 When you are conscious of both sides, the upside & downside and see the 'bigger picture' your mind is whole & complete and you are present with and appreciate what is as it is.
How does it work?
The participant will be asked a series of questions to shed light on the unconscious information in their mind and bring awareness to the bigger picture of their situation. When you ask your mind a question it has no option but to return an answer. You can test this by asking yourself something like "Am I hungry?" The Demartini Method focuses on asking quality questions, those questions that bring awareness to the unconscious content in your mind. An example of a quality question might be "How did this thing that you perceived to be terrible actually benefit you?" This type of question will increase your awareness of your current situation. An example of a poor-quality question might be "why do bad things always happen to me?" This type of question will search the vast storehouse of your mind and return a list of possible reasons why bad things happen to you. Not very helpful - this type of question will further polarise your mind and make you more emotionally reactive.
Will it work for me?
Where there is a will there is a way. If you have a motive to find the answer to any question then you will surely find it. All problems exist simply due to the lack of awareness of their solution. Occasionally a parent will invest in a package for their child or a partner will invest in sessions for their spouse. If the child or spouse is looking for solutions they will find them but if they are not interested in finding the solution they will not find it.
Is the Demartini Method like therapy?
The short answer is No. There are many different types of therapy. In traditional therapy, the therapist will ask questions to encourage the participant to speak about and elaborate on their current perspective of the perceived issue/problem/challenge. The challenge with this approach is that although it feels good at the time, every time the participant re-states their situation from their current perspective or "runs their story" they are re-affirming that the situation they are going through is indeed bad/negative which is actually dramatising, polarising and exacerbating the issue further. It's kind of like when a car gets bogged or stuck in a rut, if that car attempts to continue along the same track it is only going to spin it's wheels and dig itself further into the rut. In order to free the car, you need to approach the problem from a different perspective. For example, if you experienced a situation from a negative perspective and I ask you a typical therapy question "how did that make you feel?" you are directing your mind to focus on the negative feeling that you experienced, reaffirming the problem in your mind. If I ask you instead, "what was the benefit/upside to the thing that you have labelled as bad or negative? Now you are directing your mind to shed light on the currently unconscious benefits or upsides in your apparent negative situation. What did you get out of it? How did you learn from it? How did it grow and develop you? It's only when you focus and shed light on the upside/benefits that you can dissolve the perceived trauma/problem/challenge. Therapy has a place and is a great tool to discharge energy and get something off your chest. The purpose of the Demartini Method is to take that to the next level and dissolve the root cause of the issue.
I've been told it's good to sit with and feel into my emotions is that different to dissolving them?
Your emotions are designed to give you feedback when you are ignoring a part of your reality. 'Sitting with' or 'feeling into' your emotions is wise because this is how you can decode the feedback they are trying to give you. Once you are aware of this feedback and why the emotion is there, dwelling on the emotion for an extended period of time is not to your advantage. The emotional charge has served its purpose as a messenger, now it is time to dissolve the emotion and move on with your life by shedding light on the previously unconscious content of your mind with the Demartini Method.
Why would I want to go back to these moments, why not just leave them in the past?
Anything that you have experienced in life that you wouldn't want to experience again will take up time and space in your mind and run you subconsciously until you go back and clear it. In other words, we think we have free will but the reality is that anything we have associated a negative charge with is controlling our behaviour. We are unconsciously avoiding anything that reminds us of that lopsided memory from our past. To be truly free is to act out of inspiration rather than react out of fear.
How does changing my perception of something work?
It's not what happens to you in life that matters, it's how you choose to perceive what happens to you. If you think about something that happened to you 10 years ago that you initially perceived to be a tragedy, it's likely that over time you realised that the apparent tragedy had upsides, lessons and blessings, you just didn't realise it at the time. Everything that happens to us in life has both sides, an upside and a downside. When something happens that we initially label as bad/negative/tragic we are assuming with our ignorance that this must be a freak event with all negatives and no positives, until eventually over time, we start to see the other side. We only get stuck in life when we tell ourselves we have a bad situation rather than asking ourselves, where is the upside of my situation? The upside of a situation is never absent, it is just sometimes missing from our awareness, it's currently unconscious.