Have you been through a tragic event, depression or a breakup?
Updated: Mar 30, 2019
As humans we have a habit of focusing on events from our past that have hurt us.
This happened to me.
I want to share my story and how I felt because I found a way out of it and at the time, I felt like there was no way out of it and nobody that could help me.
I don’t know what it is for you but for me it was a series of what I perceived to be ‘humiliating events’ that happened to me when I lived on college at Uni.
Because of these ‘humiliating events’ I thought that no one would want to be around me so I felt isolated, I didn’t know what to do.
I ‘became depressed’.
I didn’t want to talk to anyone about it, for fear of judgement, anyone close to me I was either too ashamed to talk to or when I tried to talk to them they just didn’t understand me and that just made the problem worse.
I even organised an appointment with a free counsellor from the uni but every time I went to see her I was encouraged to run my story (something I now know is the exact opposite of what I should have been doing) or to ‘focus on positive thinking.’
So when that didn’t work I felt like I was backed into a corner and I couldn’t see a way out, the next logical step in my awareness at the time was pills to make the pain go away.
One of the hardest things for me in this period of my life was the slowly developing isolation, first I avoided certain people on my floor, then I stopped going to events, eventually the only time I left my dorm room was to go to classes.
I re-run those ‘humiliating events’ in my mind and went over them countless times, what I could have done differently or how it was somebody else’s fault that this happened to me.
My problem was that I developed such a habit of remembering and running over those particular events over and over again that half the time I didn’t even realize that I was doing it.
So what did I do, how did I get past it and move on with my life?
One weekend I came home and attended a personal training and nutrition seminar that went for 3 consecutive days. At some point during the seminar someone asked the speaker a question, “Who are your mentors in each area of your life?”
The speaker then went on to list his mentor for learning about training, his mentor for learning nutrition, then he mentioned his mentor for mindset.
The speaker said that his mindset mentor was a man by the name of Dr John Demartini. He talked about this Dr Demartini for about 45 seconds but in that moment I knew I had to go and meet this guy.
I went home jumped on the internet, found Dr Demartini’s website and booked a ticket for his next seminar which happened to be in Auckland, New Zealand, I had to travel from Melbourne but I knew I had to do it.
That weekend in November 2015 literally changed the trajectory of my life forever.
For the first time in my life somebody explained to me why I was feeling the way I was and how to change it.
Dr Demartini taught me the universal laws of human behaviour.
That weekend I understood for the first time in my life how to use my mind to create the outcome I want from life, I became conscious of the questions I was asking myself.
I learned that the quality of the questions I ask myself determines the quality of my life.
Let me give you an example.
I perceived that I was ‘depressed’ and I wanted to resolve that.
What is the first question most people would ask themselves?
“Why am I depressed?” – Poor quality question.
Because if you ask yourself “why am I depressed?” your mind is going to find all of the reasons for you to be depressed. Not helpful.
Instead ask yourself, “How is whatever happened to me that I perceived as traumatic/bad/a mistake, actually a benefit or service to me?
How is it on my way, not in the way?
Sounds counter intuitive doesn’t it?
Your initial reaction is probably going to be “There is no benefit”, but this is a lie, you can’t have a negative without a positive.
One trick is to look at what you did because of this event, what decisions did you then make, what did you learn from it and what do you now do differently?
If you are going through a similar problem and get a bit stuck with the questions, don't hesitate to send me a message or book yourself a free discovery call here and I can explain them to you further.
It is always easier to get someone to ask you the questions because when you are experiencing the emotion yourself it can be hard to be objective with your answers.
After attending that program I have since become a student of Dr Demartini’s, I attended his training program for the Demartini Method®, and I am now a trained Demartini Method Facilitator doing for others what he did for me that weekend,
I change peoples lives.